PR Grouch: How to shine in PR

It is not always the best people in our industry who rise to the top, the ones who shout the loudest are the ones who get all the rewards. So stuff being modest, I have decided it’s time to make some noise. So what if I speak a load of nonsense? I have decided there is no such thing as bad publicity.

Here is my advice on how to shine* in PR:

Blog, blog, and blog some more. The more your name appears online, the more your boss might think you are someone. As no one reads these blogs, it doesn’t matter what you actually write about.

Be a social media bore. This isn’t difficult; do you know anyone who is actually interesting on Twitter, Google+ or LinkedIn? Just make sure you tweet your heart out and post at least a dozen times a day on Facebook.

Email your colleagues to death. Boast about your work, boast about their work, doesn’t really matter what you write about, just make sure your name appears in their inboxes more than anyone else does. Makes you look like you are a workaholic. It also makes you look like a mad person, but never mind that.

Be loud. That’s right, SHOUT! Don’t talk, bellow. Whether you are contributing in a meeting or asking a colleague how their day is going, make sure your voice is heard. If people around you are putting their hands over their ears, you know you are doing well.

Wear ridiculous clothes. Bold colours are good, grey is bad. Dress like Govinda. Okay, people are sniggering behind your back, but at least they are talking about you.

Photo-bomb. Whenever you see a camera, make sure you are in the picture. You never know, that person standing in front of the Taj Mahal having their piccie taken could one day be famous. But not as famous, as you are now that you have followed all the tips above.

* This advice may have negative long-term implications for your career and your friendships

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