PR Grouch on training to avoid
20th February 2013
I was just drifting off in a training room at the India Habitat Centre the other day, when I was rudely interrupted by snores coming from a fellow trainee. (I let him sleep; two wrongs don't make a right!)
Now I don’t mind paying a few hundred rupees to get some rest and relaxation, but I prefer to lounge around at the Oberoi, Gurgaon, rather than sit at a desk pretending to learn stuff. Or even worse, take part in a role play.
No, I don’t want to imagine I am the CEO of an international oil company!
Now some things I am glad I learnt. Driving is useful. So is typing. And shorthand is great for note taking, not to mention writing obscenities straight from Gangs of Wasseypur in meetings that no one else understands.
But here are courses to avoid:
1. Anything about ‘personality types‘. Is it not pretty obvious that people have different personality traits and you must communicate with them appropriately? Simple. I understand, always have.
2. Time-management skills. Oh my god! Who came up with this course? They need shooting! You are beyond hope if you waste your time on a course about time.
3. Drama workshops. Yes, I do feel sorry for unemployed actors, but they must accept there isn’t enough acting work these days, and do something dull like the rest of us.
4. Stress management. It may seem generous to offer massage, yoga and meditation lessons in the office, but if I want to unwind I go home. I know it may give someone in HR a job to do, but really time off is what we need, not wasting more time in the office!
5. Team working. People who need to learn how to work in teams are the sort of people who shouldn’t be in teams. They should work alone, for their benefit as well as everyone else’s. And does anyone ever enjoy team-working events? No. Didn't think so.