How PR firms could increase profits

In my chequered career I have worked and skived in all sizes of businesses, and it is such a relief to be working for a smaller outfit, where, despite my almost inert boss (even lazier than me, hard to believe) and some other motley colleagues with varying afflictions, more does seem to get done.

So I just wonder how, with their greater overheads, some international businesses manage to make such large profits, even in these hard times? But for those that are struggling, here are some possible departments where large cuts can instantly be made, and no one will even notice.

Human resources department
 

Why does someone from HRD need to sit in on interviews? Why is there so much red tape in employing people in big firms when it such a straightforward process in smaller businesses? But I do feel mean picking on HR, it is such an easy target, and there is no doubt that managing people, lots of people, must be a nightmare. Which makes me think that HR people should be good at communicating and getting on with others? Have I been unlucky in that all the HR people I have met have had terrible people skills? And have only got on by doing exactly what the senior managers want (i.e. helping them to fire people), while being rubbish at supporting anyone lower down in the business? And all those benefits they come up with to motivate people, can’t they just give pay rises?

Accounts
 

Now I have every sympathy with people who have to work with numbers all day. It must be hard to stay awake, I am yawning just at the thought of excel spreadsheets. Yet how is it, that every screw-up that has happened in my pay packet has been within a large organisation that has its own proper accounts department? And I suggest getting rid of any senior financial director straight away. They always earn too much (even the ones who do everything legally).

Office management
 

Now I love to raid a stationery cupboard as much as the next person, but there’s no question you get richer pickings in a bigger firm – ream of A4-sized printing paper anyone? So I reckon you don’t need someone stocking up all these stationery cupboards, coffee machines, and getting office plants watered. Companies could save on the salaries of the people buying all this extra stuff as well as the money they waste on the actual stuff itself … so this would be a green initiative as well as a mean one.

Now that’s three departments slashed. But when it comes to the PR, well that’s one function that’s obviously indispensable!

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