Current Global changes name to reflect ambitious plan to be the first intergalactic public relations agency
Award-winning midsized communications agency Current Global, with offices on four continents, today announced plans to be the first communications firm to open an office on Mars in the year 2033 to coincide with NASA’s target date for making the planet habitable. As a first step to mark this milestone, the Interpublic Group (NYSE: IPG) agency is changing its name to Current Galactic and has unveiled a new logo design.
“Our ambitions have always been big, so going from Global to Galactic is a natural evolution of our long-term growth strategy,” said Current Galactic co-CEO Virginia Devlin.
Current Galactic’s Mars outpost will be in the Jezero Crater, which many people will remember as the landing area for the NASA Perseverance Rover.
“Choosing a location was difficult,” said Devlin. “We looked at many spots that seemed very flat, dusty, and inhospitable. The Jezero Crater had everything we were looking for, and we’re convinced the area within the Isidis Planitia region will be the next Brooklyn.”
Current Galactic employees won’t be sitting on their hands when doors open, as BISSELL has committed to being the first client to extend its AOR relationship on Earth to Mars.
“With six inches of sand covering the ground and hurricane force winds blowing every evening, the conditions inside biodomes are going to look like the floor of a Daytona Beach rental,” said a spokesperson at BISSELL. “We think our new CrossWave® HydroSteam™ is the perfect remedy for sand and any other outer space messes. Plus, household penetration in the Isidis Planitia is at zero, so it represents a great business opportunity for us.”
One critical issue to solve will be staffing the new office. Devlin and co-CEO George Coleman, however, are already a step ahead. “Any team member who chooses to relocate to the Mars office will enjoy first-of-its-kind employee benefits including unlimited oxygen canisters and a fridge stocked with 23,000 freeze-dried space food rations to meet any Earthly craving imaginable,” said Coleman.
While this move to a galactic office seems far-fetched, Coleman thinks it makes perfect sense. “Most people would be scared off by such an isolated environment where one step out of the office would mean certain death, but public relations pros embrace challenges daily and handle high pressure environments with ease, so we think it’s a natural progression of our profession to be the first marketers on Mars.”