What is the most rubbish present you got for Diwali?

Its nearly September and Diwali is soon to follow! I know it’s supposed to be all about the thought, and not the gift, but I sometimes wonder what my friends and relatives were thinking when they went shopping for my Diwali gift. It certainly can’t have been me, or they would know that:

a) I am not interested in personal grooming or a teenage boy so Axe deodorant is not a good idea and
b) I have never worn, nor do I intend to wear, a man necklace –ethnic look be damned!

Apart from the waste of unwanted gifts, there is also the mountain of unwanted cards. Not that e-cards are any better, I never even opened any of the ones I was sent.

I am usually miserable at Diwali ( so much money spent!) though, so don’t listen to me. Listen instead to the moans of my colleagues. Here’s what they said when asked what their least favourite present was.

Scented candle/Crackers

I don’t get the point of these either. May as well just burn a a 500 rupee note, it takes up much less time and burns brighter.

Wine bottle opener

Most households already have at least one of these, they don’t need any more.

Diwali chocolates from Khari Baoli

Who does the PR for Diwali chocolates ? They deserve a pay cut. No one. Repeat no one like rose flavoured chocs!

“Arty” ornament

There is nothing worse than getting some hideous vase or sculpture that you have to remember to drag out of the cupboard when the giver comes to visit.

A re-gift

Especially when it’s a present you got rid of a few years ago.

A photo of the giver in a wood carved frame

If you wanted a photo of them, you’d take it yourself. The frame isn’t bad though.

Novelty diya earrings

The words “diya” and “earrings” should never go together.

Sexy underwear

Anything that is to do with sex needs to be kept private, not sent in the courier to be unwrapped in front of mother-in-laws.

A Microwave

My Dad, bless him, bought my mum a washing machine. She went berserk. Didn't help the happy family atmosphere – soap suds everywhere!

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